Disabled jokes
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
Why did the wheels not move on his wheelchair?
Because he had no legs.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking died. Oh god, it must have been when I disconnected the Wi-Fi!
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.