Disabled jokes
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
Why can't disabled people make jokes?
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?
How do parents punish their blind kids?
They re-arrange the furniture.
Your mum gay.