Disability jokes

What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?

"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.

Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you got to hand it to her.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?

Take him for a drag.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

You can say what you want about deaf people...

Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"