Disability jokes
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.