Disability jokes
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? Rearranged the furniture.