Disability jokes

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.

*knock knock*

Who's there!

Not Sarah.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.