Disability jokes

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.

*knock knock*

Who's there!

Not Sarah.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?

steamed vegetables.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

Helen Keller fell down a well. She screamed and screamed until she was blue in the hands.

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”