Disability jokes

Why can’t the blind man find love?

It’s called love at first sight.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."

What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

How do you keep a mute woman you've raped from telling on you?

By cutting off her fingers.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?

Awwtistic.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?

A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?

Mashed potatoes.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

Where do people with no legs go to have fun?

Legnoland.

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.

*knock knock*

Who's there!

Not Sarah.

A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.

“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.

“It’s because God made you special,” she said.

“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

Nothing.

How do you name a disabled Asian?

Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.