Disability jokes
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.