Disability jokes

Space

I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

Dark Humor

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

Memes

Man

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

Race

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

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  • Birthday

    Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?

    Johnny was deaf.

    Man

    A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

    One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

    The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

    The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

    So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

    "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

    The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

    The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

    The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

    Principal

    I went to the principal's office because I gave a deaf kid ear pods for his birthday.

    Trampoline

    "I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."

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