Disability jokes
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
What do you call a cute boy with Down syndrome?
Awwtistic.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"