Disability jokes
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door, and the autistic kid opens it.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.