Disability jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Memes
The translation is correct. Toilet for disabled person shouldn't be called toilet. It should be:
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.