Disability jokes
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Memes
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.