Disability jokes
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Who is Helen Keller?
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.