Disability jokes

Tap

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

Family

Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.

Dog

What do you call a dog with 2 legs?

It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.

Autistic person

Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?

Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.

(Not meant to be triggering).

Shooter

When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.

Swing

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.

Guy

What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"

Gun

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Car

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.

Wheel

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

Pilot

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.