Disability jokes
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
I wish I was blind.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.