Disability jokes
I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."
There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What was Stephen Hawking's least favorite invention? The walkie-talkie.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
Person 1: Wasn’t Stephen Hawking on X Factor?
Person 2: No, why would he be on X Factor?
Person 1: For dancing.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex?
Enter, backspace. Enter, backspace.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Why was Sally sad?
Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.