Disability jokes
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I wish I was blind.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.