Disability jokes
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.