Disability jokes
How does Stephen Hawking compete in the hurdles?
He ducks when he gets to them.
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
Where was Stephen Hawking born?
Under a coconut tree.
At least Stephen Hawking could go on a pub crawl.
What idiot said to Stephen Hawking, "You can't run before you can walk"?
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
Roll In Peace.
When a sign says "Do Not Walk on the Grass," it does not apply to Stephen Hawking.
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.