Disability jokes
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.