Disability jokes
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.