Disability jokes
Kid: "Grandma, what's dark humour?"
Grandma: "See that man in the wheelchair over there?"
Kid: "But Grandma! I'm blind!"
Grandma: "Exactly."
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.