Disability jokes
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.