Disability jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Oh wait, he didn't.
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.