Disability jokes
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?