Disability jokes
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.