Disability jokes
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?