Disability jokes
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.