Disability jokes
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Why do disabled people make good golfers?
Because they're always handicapped.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"