Disability jokes
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.