Disability jokes
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
We don't read backwards.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.