Disability jokes
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
Dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
Why couldn't the orphan use the swing? Because they had no arms.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.