Disability jokes

I got my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful cunt sat in his wheelchair all day.

Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?

A: She kept stepping on a rake.

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.

Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?

She has.

What do you call a one-legged Asian?

Tie Won Shoo.

This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Helen Keller.

Helen Keller who?

(Don't say anything).

Helen Keller who?

...you will get a laugh...ty.

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces!! HAHAHA

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?

I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"