So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Disability Jokes
I'm stumped.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
