Disability jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
What do you call a horse rider with Down syndrome?
Down Quijote.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
What’s the hardest thing to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair.
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.