Disability jokes
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
We don't read backwards.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.