Disability jokes
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
Knock knock. Who's there? Beep boop S.t.e.p.h.e.n beep boop H.a.w.k.i.n.g.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...
WAITTTT WHATTT
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.