Disability jokes
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"
A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What do you call a disabled Asian?
"Sum ting wong."
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.
One thing about disabled people is they never set foot in prison.
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.