Disability jokes
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die.
His charger broke.
Unlike my syndrome, I keep my chin up. 🙌🏽😁
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She's retarded.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.