Disability jokes

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.

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  • Why did Susie fall off the swing?

    Because she didn't have any arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Susie.

    When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

    He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

    Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

    Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

    Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.