Disability jokes
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
I wanna see Stephen Hawking on nitrous.
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.