Difference jokes
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
Memes
What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.