Difference jokes

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.

What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?

My stepdad did beat cancer.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?

Your job still sucks!

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids won't eat the broccoli.

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

What's the difference between a dog from an Asian person and a cat from an Asian person?

Only the taste.

What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?

The second-hand book was loved once.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

What's the difference between a dump truck of dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.