Difference jokes

What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!

PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?

SANS: What?

PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!

SANS: Good one.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.

What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?

One's a busy ditch.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at three hoes.

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I've never had a lentil on my face.

What's the difference between you and a bench?

A bench can hold a family.

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.