Difference jokes

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?

Jesus died a virgin.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?

The book has papers.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?

A rock can break a glass ceiling.

What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?

Only one of them is scared.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.

What is the difference between a cow and me?

Nothing.

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!

Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

A. Nothing, they both die at ten.