What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What is different about priests and acne?
Acne waits until you're 13 to cum on your face.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What’s the difference between an Indian and Jewish person?
An Indian person is burnt after death.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu?
For one you get tweetment, for the other you get oinkment.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
