Difference jokes
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.