Difference jokes

What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?

After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?

Nemo was eventually found.

What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?

One of them won’t clean the oven.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?

Because they're good at separating colors.

What’s the difference between a thief and a pervert?

One will snatch your watch, the other will watch your snatch.

What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?

The magician has a cunning array of stunts!

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One is glowing and the other is blowing.

What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?

I don't have $1 million in my wallet.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What’s the difference between white people and Black people?

One runs from the police, one runs for the police.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly girl? The Twin Towers at least got fucked.

Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?

Her: What?

Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.