What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?
one has a point.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?
One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.
What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
