Didnt jokes
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Me: Hi Jaiden.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.
Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.
Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*
Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!
Stephen Hawking didn't die, he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Why didn't the sun get a job? Seriously, I have no idea why. Help me!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.