In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
What does BLM stand for?
Black Lust Matters.
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
What’s the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
What's the difference between an erection and Edward Holland? Nothing, they're both dicks.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Boy: Your dick is so small, oh wait, you don't have one.
Older boy: UNO reverse card!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Kids are only virgins because their dicks are small.
