Di jokes
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
Memes
Emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
My dog died today. 😥
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.