Di jokes

I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.

My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.

Stephen Hawking is just in a role play. He died to a crash in Minecraft.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

Bin Laden's relatives died in a plane crash on 8/1! #justice

What did the two towers make after they died? The One World Trade Center.

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

When does an emo get jealous at a phone?

When it dies.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

You're so ugly that I choked and died.