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Di jokes

Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?

When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.

He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.

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  • Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.

    Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?

    There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!

    Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

    What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

    What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

    The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

    Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

    Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

    You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

    We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

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  • A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

    The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."

    The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.