Di

Di Jokes

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

what’s the difference between the baby i just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?

They couldn’t close his casket.

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.