Depression jokes
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...