Depression jokes
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Hey, how ya doin'?
Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.
Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.
Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”