Depression jokes

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

Keep yourself safe!

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

I'm going to piss on the floor.

Read if gay.

Aha!

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.