Depression jokes
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.
Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"
*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"
I don't get people who treat you like shit and cross your boundaries, then are surprised when you have depression.
It's because of them after all. 🥰✨️
Depressed caller: "I'm done with everything!"
Responder: "Please hang on!"
Life with depression is like a cheeseburger.
It's not good without the cheese.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Keep yourself safe!