Depression jokes
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
What’s the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...
- But?
- ...
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
Keep yourself safe!
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.