Depression jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.

I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?

Through my arm.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”

She replies: “Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"

Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."

What did the tree do to the emo?

He left him hanging.

What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple?

One hits the ground when they fall from the tree.

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

Keep yourself safe!