Depression

Depression jokes

Kid

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

Difference

What’s the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression fucks you harder.

Emo

I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.

Building

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Kid

What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?

A hypoteNUSE!

Blade

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

Ninja

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

Therapist

Dark Humor

I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.

Hangman

What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.

Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.

Anxiety

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

Duck

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

Word

Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?

Suicide

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.