Depression

Depression jokes

Couple

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

Tree

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Burrito

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Kid

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

Counselor

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

Rope

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

Airline food

What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?

Suicide

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”

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  • Cake

    Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

    Emo kid

    Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

    Rope

    What's the difference between me and a rope?

    The rope doesn't hang from itself.

    Torch

    I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

    Detention

    I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.