Depression jokes
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Where did Holly go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"