Depression jokes
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"
"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
The first thing the emo did at the party is to pin the gun to their head.
(Me) Hey bro, tell me a joke!
(My friend) Your mom. *Starts Laughing*
(Me) *Fakes laughs* *then points a gun at him*
At this moment, he knew he fucked up.
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.