Depression jokes

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.

Why did the depressed kid cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.

Why did I walk across the road?

To get hit by a car.

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

My life.

Tell me when you get it.

What's an Emo's favorite drink?

Water, JK it's cyanide.

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

you.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Life's too short to want it.

Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

Pain. Gained. Anxiety. Fulfilled. Insomnia. Depression. Always with me. Happiness... The one thing I can't have.