Depression jokes

Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.

I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.

Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

6 hours later

Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?

They both hang...

If I die, delete my search history.

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

Mom: "I gave you life and you should be able to wash dishes."

Me: "Why did you?"

Mom: "I was very drunk..."

Explains a lot...

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

Friend 2: Yup.

Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

what's black and red and is a liquid?

my scars!

What did the orphan say to the crippled man?

I suffer from crippling depression.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Depression hits harder than my dad.

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.