I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Yo Mama is so STUPID she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal Rams
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression.
It’s called Enditol.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide.
Tbh they really left me hanging there.
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
