Depression

Depression jokes

Starvation

6 views ·

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

Tic-tac-toe

17 views ·

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

Drug

3 views ·

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

Gift

2 views ·

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Friend

1 view ·

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

Crush

3 views ·

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

Ninja

3 views ·

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.