Depression jokes
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?
KMS.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Keep yourself safe!
Kentucky yacht services (kys.com)
"kys" (keep yourself safe).
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."