Depression

Depression jokes

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

The doctor told me I'm color blind...

Me: That's out of the purple!

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.