Delivery

Delivery jokes

Delivery service

    • A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

    I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

    Mailman

    • One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

    Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

  • 1

    • Dad

    • What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.

  • 0
    • Delivery memes

    Rip-off

    • "I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

    -Al Nassr owner

  • 1

    • Baby

    • A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

  • 0

    • Abortion

    • My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

  • 1

    • Abortion

    • Nurse: Don't worry, I'm great with babies. Parents: You are? Nurse: Yeah, I always abort them. Parent:... Parent: You're hired.

  • 0

    • Lord

    • After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

    Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

    Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

    Lord: "My dog died?!"

    Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

    Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

    Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

    Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

    Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

    Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

    Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

  • 4