Delivery jokes
Pizza Hut.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?