Delivery

Delivery jokes

Marriage

    • If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

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    • Grade

    • When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

    When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

    Rip-off

    • "I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo."

    -Al Nassr owner

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    • Delivery memes

    Carrot

    • Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

    "Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

    Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

    Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

    Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

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    • Mailman

    • One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

    Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

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    • Dead Body

    • Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

    The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

    "First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.

    "Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

    The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

    "Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

    "Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

    "He thought he was having his picture taken."

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    • Twin Towers

    • The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

    One was just a plane tortilla.

    The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

    And the third one went to the wrong address.