Delivery jokes
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What is a paedo's favourite time of year?
Halloween because they get free delivery.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.