Delivery jokes
The Twin Towers ordered Little Caesars, but instead got Dominos.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
On 9/11, the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas. One came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Wanna hear a pun?
Welp, I'll punch you with one!
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.
Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?
Open a pizza shop 🍕
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.