Delivery jokes
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Anyone seen these lately?
Lol, the Twin Towers ordered a drop in from Pizza Hut, but instead they got a hot and ready from Jet's.
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.