Death jokes
John F. Kennedy may rest in pieces.
Repeat after me: Die angle; die angle; sweetie. Angels don't die! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Why is the skeleton sad and alone?
Because he is with nobody.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.
I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
Emo: Phone die.
Emo: Why not me? ;(
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
The Windows XP log out sound.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.