Dead jokes
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they are dead.
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.