Dead

Dead jokes

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

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  • What's worse than a dead baby?

    A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.

    Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.

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  • What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?

    I don't have a Porsche in the garage.

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was dead.

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was also dead.

    Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Monkey see, monkey do.

    Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

    He was stapled to the first one.

  • 0
  • What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

    One dead baby nailed to ten!

  • 0
  • What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

    A small medium at large!

    Why did Sally fall off the swings?

    Because she had no arms.

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Sally!

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  • How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?

    It depends how many bullets you have.

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  • What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

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