One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
You know Sally? She's dead now.
Kenshiro is already dead.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
