What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I don't jizz on a apple before eating it
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.