Darkness

Darkness Jokes

Grass

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

Morbid humor

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

Dark Humor

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

Mirror

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

Parent

Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?

Because they can’t see their parents.

Dildo

Many years of sex in the dark.

The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"

The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"

Epilepsy

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

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  • 9/11

    I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

    "I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

    Orphan

    Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

    People

    The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!

    Man

    A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

    Lightbulb

    How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    More than three because the basement is still dark!

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  • Rampage

    I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

    I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

    The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

    Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

    That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

    Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

    Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

    But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

    Grape

    *bowl of dark grapes*

    Friend 1: I like my grapes how I like my men.

    Friend 2: Black? Good one.

    Friend 1: 21 at a time.