Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

I like my women like I like my coffee

Dark,Rich, and Imported

All of these jokes are so dark, I’m surprised cops haven’t shot them.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. They boy turns to the man and says, “Hey mister its getting dark out, and I’m scared… Can we go back now?” So the man says: “How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

I will always remeber my dads last words… “15 dollars and ill jump.”

Why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson?

B/c it is a FAMILY company 😂😂

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

I’ll always remember my dads last words… Why do you have an axe we live in the city

If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.

I love Muslims, they are great at parties! They have the best fireworks.

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

What’s worst then finding 10 babys in 10 dumpsters??

Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked “It’s dark in here isn’t?” and the other one says "I don’t know I can’t see.

What’s the difference between a pile of babys and a Porsche??

I don’t have a Porsche in my garage

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

is necrophilia considered cracking open a cold one?

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

Friend: how dark is your humor? Me: it gets beat by the cops on a daily basis

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