I was crying when my dad was cutting onions
Onions was such a good dog
What did the titanic say as it was sinking I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge
I’ll never forget my grandpas last words
Are you still holding the ladder
Orphans and Chinese people can’t play baseball , the orphans can’t find home and the Chinese kid will eat the bat
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? One stops sucking when you slap it
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces. So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he
I farted in my grandma ́s breathing machine
my grandma unplugged the internet cable so i unplugged her life support
how do you surprise 50 year old man? by putting a 12 inch dick through his ass. He said " best surprise ever"
how do you suprise a blind man by putting a plunger in the toilet
my grandma told me i was next at my brothers wedding so i told her she was next at her husband's funeral
imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses,diseases,etc in the world but cooler like this: "bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Why did the chicken cross the road ? cuz he saw a chic 😉
how is a child molester and harambe the same, they both get shot for touching little kids
what do u call a Chinese baby? sum ting Wong
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children
What’s the difference between a orphan and a apple.A apple gets picked.
