Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What's red and really bad for your teeth? A brick.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I made a AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very go chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!
my jacket tore a little bit. it's a ripper.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged, he recieved a refund and an apollogy
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
