My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
Damage Jokes
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
