he never has a bad day cuz he wakes up on both side of the bed
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii then I met my girl zendaya on board she was shaking her ass and playing with her penis then she ask me hey you wanna make love in the cabin? i said sure sweet thang gave me her number kiss me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
he never has a bad day
because he always wake’s up on both sides on the bed
Do you know what my favorite time of day is? 6:30 HANDS DOWN.
🎨🧑🏻🦰 day was that good fun day at home 🏠 I had to the earth and I love it when you get a home and walk walk home from school and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your birthday 🎁 I did
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist Clooney? The first day was his hardest
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque"
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
one day i was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger it grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all now i am just a big butthole typing this please help me
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the Chicken's day off!
I play saxophone and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason I got multiple restraining orders because I said “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson”, I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain. The email reads: „Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here“.
hi guys i just found this website i got emailed by joshisboss or something have a great day 👍🏻
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell legalise and programme correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
What does a orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mothers Day and Father's Day
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
one day in roblox someone was arguing with me and they asked me my age. 18. they said that they were twenty two. Me: if your so smart, whats the largest daycare game on roblox? Him:Yo Hair. he said. then he left the game. and a said that is so messed up. actually that bullcrap.
why does orphan's calendar only have 362 day's because they don't celebrate father,mother and valentines day.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year because they don’t have a mothers and Father’s Day
So I told an orphan to slap themselves untill they are wanted, I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves then I stopped them then told them to punch themselves. The next day a saw a dead orphan.
