Dais jokes

The udder day I drank milk.

It was udderly delicious!

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now I live in constant fear.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

I wish I was a toe because I want to be banged all day.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

This is the log reference. Use it to post your logs. Logs can be posted by Info Gatherers or Announcers.

/{[(Log date) -Month- -Year- -Day-] -Log Title- } "-Log Information- " End of Log

Thank you, -Connor

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

What holiday can an orphan not celebrate?

Mother's Day and Father's Day.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?

All his comebacks take three days.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"