One day it was me & my sister in the house. My sister said to me let's order food I said we have no money. My sister said it's cool were just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store I know the delivery boy & he won't charge us. I said cool. The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some & ate mines in my room. I went back in the kitchen I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job I ask what are you doing. My sister replied back to me & you had your egg rolls let me enjoy mine. Then the delivery boy said don't no charge.
Once in 4th grade Rn I told a random tree Hey my day is bad rn can we hang later? The tree said: Yeah we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
A kid went and cot a hair cut, the day after he went to school, and a friend says " I like your cut", and he replies "which one?"
Playing hide n seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day
one day a priest loses his cock (chicken) he goes to the church and says "who has seen a cock" all the woman raised their hands "no who has seen a cock that is not theirs" half the woman's hands went up "NO NO NO who has seen my cock" all the nuns hands went up
Your a orphan and blind you have cancer you will die in 3 days merry Xmas
TELL ME YOU DONE THIS WITH OUT YOU TELL ME YOU DONE THIS.!!! so we all know when yall where in school yall would fart but yall would try to make it silent. but for me that one day I farted loud and every one could hear. every one got to blame the annoying kid.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said,"Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?". After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat Vehicles and Tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.
Your hairline so far back that five hour energy became five day depression
Your hairline so far back that you have for face to wash every day
Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud
Beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Ashley said to me one day that what is my name and I said my name is everyday life of stupidity
My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Some people could say that the sky was falling that day, one second they saw the sun and the next they saw heaven
